What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops