Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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