The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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