Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Barack Obama.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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