What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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