Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops