UN

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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