Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Gretta has five legs? -no

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops