Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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