A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops