What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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like most people my age. im 27

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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