Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops