What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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One time i was sitting down

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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