Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops