How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Knock Knock. Come in.

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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