What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops