Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

mmm i love marble bumhole

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops