What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops