Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

dallen loves penis

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

TRICERATOPS!

Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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