Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Diarrhea

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops