Oh s***

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops