What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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call me maybe.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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