5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

black chicken. kfc

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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