Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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