Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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