Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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