I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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