How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Penis

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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