Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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