when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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