Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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