Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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