Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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