Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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