What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops