What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Kevin and Ramin

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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