Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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good looking women

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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your so fat. your fat!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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deez nuts

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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