what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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