A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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I was watching Fox news.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops