Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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