Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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penis

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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KILL WHITEY

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops