A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

a skinny sumo wrestler

Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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