Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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