Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Women's Rights

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops