Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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KILL WHITEY

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops