What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Rylan Clark

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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