Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Canadians

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops