What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops