why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops