so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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