A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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