What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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call me maybe.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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