What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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