Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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