What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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first

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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