Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops