Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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