a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops