Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Good job, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops